The New Holiday Film Review – Netflix’s Newest Holiday Romantic Comedy Falls Flat.

Without wanting to come across as the Grinch, it’s hard not to lament the early arrival of Christmas films prior to the Thanksgiving holiday. Even as the weather cools, it seems too soon to completely immerse in the platform’s yearly feast of low-cost festive entertainment.

Like American chocolates that no longer include genuine cocoa, Netflix’s holiday movies are relied upon for their brand of mediocrity. They offer rote familiarity – nostalgic casting, modest spending, fake snow, and absurd premises. In the worst cases, these movies are unmemorable disasters; at best, they are forgettable fun.

Champagne Problems, the latest holiday concoction, disappears into the broad center of unremarkable territory. Directed by Mark Steven Johnson, whose last Netflix romcom was utterly forgettable, this movie goes down like cheap bubbly – fittingly lackluster and situational.

The story starts with what looks like an AI-generated ad for drug store brand champagne. This ad is actually the pitch of Sydney Price, played by the actress, to her coworkers at a financial firm. The protagonist is the construction paper cut-out of a career woman – overlooked, constantly on her device, and ambitious to the detriment of her private world. When her superior sends her to France to close a deal over Christmas, her sister insists she spend an evening in Paris to enjoy life.

Of course, Paris is the ideal location to pull someone from Google Maps, despite Paris is covered in unconvincing digital snowfall. In an overly quaint bookshop, the lead meet-cutes with Henri Cassell, who pulls her away from her phone. Following the genre, Sydney at first rejects this ideal guy for silly reasons.

Just as predictable are the movie mechanics that proceed at sudden shifts, mirroring the turning of aging champagne bottles in the vaults of Chateau Cassel. The catch? Henri is the successor to the estate, reluctant to run it and bitter toward his dad for putting it up for sale. Maybe the film’s biggest addition to romantic comedies, he is extremely judgmental of corporate buyouts. The conflict? Sydney sincerely believes she’s not dismantling the ancestral business for profit, vying against three caricatures: a stern Frenchwoman, a severe blonde German man, and a delusional gay billionaire.

The twist? Sydney’s skeevy coworker the office rival appears unannounced. The grist? Henri and Sydney look yearningly at one another in festive sleepwear, despite a vast chasm in economic worldview.

The gift and the curse is that nothing here lingers longer than a bubbly buzz on an empty stomach. There’s a lack of substantial content – the lead actress, still best known for her part in the TV series, delivers a merely adequate portrayal, superficially pleasant and gestures of care, more maternal than love interest material. Tom Wozniczka provides just the right amount of French charm with mild self-torture and nothing more. The tricks are unfunny, the romance is inoffensive, and the happy-ever-after is predictable.

Despite its waxing poetic on the exclusivity of champagne, nobody claims it is anything other than a mass market item. The flaws are the very reasons some enjoy it. One might call an expert’s opinion about the film a champagne problem.

• The Holiday Film can be streamed on the platform.