Evening Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Program

Late-night's leading comedians devoted the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's recently launched visa program, dubbed the "gold card," portraying it as a obvious cash-for-residency system for the rich.

Colbert's Pointed Take

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas jingle targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... ruins all he comes into contact with."

The focus was the new initiative which allows overseas citizens to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" option for $5 million. A government website promises processing "with unprecedented speed."

"One message here to affluent foreigners: before you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the program is also intended to "get cash" from firms wanting to hire skilled workers, with large payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you also get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choice – if it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The best background check the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow rich overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the application, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval ratings during financial anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, and reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.